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Clarification on Family Relationships – The Archangels Address Abusive Families

By author and channel, Jodie Helm. (Ignore the “by Pete” line above. All I did was post Jodie’s article to save her the trouble. – Pete)

I posted an article last night about the parent/child relationship with a channeled message from the Archangels. In the message, they offered guidance and perspective to both parents and adult children to help them understand each other better. The also made it a point to say that they were not addressing abusive families, and I received several comments and emails regarding this exception with some misunderstanding the purpose of the exclusion.

The Angels and I have been working together for years now, and I often understand what they are saying and meaning when others are unclear. So, I asked them for clarification about the exception of abusive families, and their response follows.


Can you please help me clarify your last message and offer some guidance for those who come from abusive families?


This is a difficult issue to address, because those who have been abused often cannot consider forgiveness of their abusers, and that is understandable. The difficult part is for them to understand how we Archangels can still love those who have tormented them.

In our last message, we addressed the parent/child relationship, and we included some insight for both parents and their adult children. We also openly excluded families where members experienced abuse. The reason we made a point to exclude abusive families is not because they are not important or forgotten. We excluded them, because the guidance and insight we offered in that message did not pertain to such serious problems.

We tried to help each side of the parent/child bond view the other with more understanding and acceptance, and we pointed out some difficulties and common problems each side faces in hopes they could better see each other more clearly.

Abusive families would not benefit from the same advice. We understand that asking abused individuals to try to look at things from their abuser’s perspective is not helpful or even possible in most cases. We understand that sometimes, the abused victims cannot consider forgiving their abusers, and we say to you that it is alright to be unable to grant forgiveness.

This is shocking for many, so we would like to clarify. Forgiveness is important and necessary, and it will come eventually. However, depending on the situation and the people involved, it may not be possible to forgive abuse or violence during this lifetime, and that is fine. Sometimes, it is too much to ask that a traumatized person forgive those who caused them harm, which is understandable. We would much rather see the victim of abuse or violence heal themselves in any way they can than try to find forgiveness or mend an abusive relationship. It is not a requirement to forgive in this lifetime. Healing is more important, and although forgiveness often leads to healing, it is not a prerequisite.

There are many reasons people become abusive. We understand how this can happen, but you do not have to, especially if you were abused by such a person. Notice that we said, “understand” rather than “excuse.” We do not condone violence or abuse at any time. It is wrong to hurt another in any way, regardless of background or circumstances. However, understanding and loving all humans as we Angels do, we do not judge or condemn anyone for anything they do on Earth. This is acceptable and expected of us, but it is not of you. It is too much to ask of some.

While it is possible and hopeful for families who are estranged for reasons such as anger due to differences of choices and opinions to heal with time and understanding, we understand that reconciliation between family members from abusive families is not always possible, even when the abusers are sorry for their actions.

If someone who was abused does not wish to remain in an abusive relationship of any kind with the abuser, especially if it endangers them physically or emotionally, they should cut ties and do whatever else helps them heal from the abuse. This is understandable and acceptable. Forgiveness will come, whether during this lifetime or afterwards when you return to the soul realms and regain universal knowledge. While you are here on Earth, focus on healing.

Finally, we wish to tell everyone that you are unconditionally loved, whether within your family or not. Do not ever think that no one loves you, for we do. The Creator loves you, too. While that may not be as easy to see and feel as it is from other humans, it is nonetheless true. If you are part of an unloving family, know that this is a choice your soul made in order for you to learn something and grow spiritually. Look for the lessons to be learned, and know that you are treasured in the high realms.

We send all Love and Light

Final Thoughts

I hope that clarifies things for those who were confused by the previous message. If not, please let me know, and I’ll work with the Angels to find the answers you seek. All families have problems, but there’s a big difference between being mad at each other and being abused by a family member.

Most of us were taught that forgiveness is a virtue worth pursuing, and in many ways, I agree. I’ve struggled to forgive some people in the past, and when I’ve been able to forgive, I’ve found it very freeing. Whether or not forgiveness affects the person who hurt you isn’t important. It’s healing for you. However, I’ve never been a victim of severe abuse or violence, and I don’t blame anyone who cannot forgive people who have hurt them so severely. It’s comforting to me that the Archangels understand that sometimes insurmountable task, and they don’t expect us to do what we just can’t. I hope you find comfort in that, too.

Blessing, all.


Copyright © 2022, Jodie Helm. Republished with Jodie’s permission. You can also read her articles on Medium.com with a paid subscription.

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