Love does not demand sacrifice. Those who fear to affirm their own being also fear to let others live for themselves. You do not help your children by keeping them chained to you, and you do not help your aged parents either by encouraging their sense of helplessness. The ordinary sense of communication given you through your creaturehood, if spontaneously and honestly followed, would solve many of your problems. Only repressed communication leads to violence.
The natural force of love is everywhere within you, and the normal methods of communication are always meant to bring you in greater contact with your fellow creatures.
Love yourselves and do yourselves just honor, and you will deal fairly with others. When you say “no,” or deny, you always do so because in your mind and feelings, a present situation, or a proposed one, falls far short of some ideal. The refusal is always in response to something that is considered, at least, to be a greater good. If you do not have too rigid ideas of perfection, then ordinary denial serves a quite practical purpose. But never negate the present reality of yourself because you compare it to some idealized perfection.
Perfection is not being, for all being is in a state of becoming. This does not mean that all being is in a state of becoming perfect, but in a state of becoming more itself.
All other emotions are based on love, and in one way or another they all relate to it, and all are methods of returning to it and expanding its capacities.
Now throughout this book I have purposely stayed away from the word ‘love,” because of various interpretations often placed upon it, and because of the errors frequently committed in its name.
You must first love yourself before you (can) love another.
By accepting yourself and joyfully being what you are, you fulfill your own abilities, and your simple presence can make others happy. You cannot hate yourself and love anyone else. It is impossible. You will instead project all the qualities you do not think you possess upon someone else, do them lip service, and hate the other individual for possessing them. Though you profess to love the other, you will try to undermine the very foundations of his or her being.
When you love others, you grant them their innate freedom and do not cravenly insist that they always attend you. There are no divisions to love. There is no basic difference between the love of a child for a parent, a parent for a child, a wife for a husband, a brother for a sister. There are only various expressions and characteristics of love, and all love affirms. It can accept deviations from the ideal vision without condemning them. It does not compare the practical state of the beloved’s being with the idealized perceived one that is potential.
In this vision, the potential is seen as present, and the distance between the practical and the ideal forms no contradiction, since they coexist.
Now: Sometimes you may think that you hate mankind. You may consider people insane, the individual creatures with whom you share the planet. You may rail against what you think of as their stupid behavior, their bloodthirsty ways, and the inadequate and shortsighted methods that they use to solve their problems. All of this is based upon your idealized concept of what the race should be–your love for your fellow man, in other words. But your love can get lost if you concentrate upon those variations that are less than idyllic.
When you think you hate the race most, you are actually caught in a dilemma of love.* You are comparing the race to your loving idealized conception of it. In this case however you are losing sight of the actual people involved.
* No matter who I think about, whether it’s someone I profoundly love and respect or someone I shudder to think about for what they might do next, when I hold that person in my mind and ask myself: what I do want most for you, the answer I get back is: Love and Understanding. When I ask myself what I want most from you, the answer is the same. It’s Love and Understanding. – Pete
You are putting love on such a plane that you divorce yourself from your real feelings, and do not recognize the loving emotions that are the basis for your discontent. Your affection has fallen short of itself in your experience because you have denied the impact of this emotion, for fear that the beloved–in this case the race as a whole–will not measure up to it. Therefore you concentrate upon the digressions from the ideal. If, instead, you allowed yourself to free the feeling of love that is actually behind your dissatisfaction, then it alone would allow you to see the loving characteristics in the race that now escape your observation to a large degree.
Session 674, The Nature of Personal Reality © Copyright 1974 by Jane Roberts and Robert F. Butts. Current copyright holder – Laurel Davies-Butts.
Pete – https://realtalkworld.com
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having (creating) a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
“How you define yourself and the world around you, forms your intent, which, in turn, forms your reality.” – Seth
In other words, we create reality from what we choose to think and feel about ourselves and All That Is.
If we don’t CONSCIOUSLY choose our beliefs, we unconsciously absorb them from our surroundings.
If our beliefs, attitudes, values and expectations create reality, can we afford not to question them?
What other will not or cannot do for us, we must do for ourselves.
The secrets of the universe lie hidden in the shadows of our experience. Look for them!