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The Ball of Light – A Lucid Dream About the Nature of Being and Creation

Ball of Light

By Roger A. “Pete” Peterson

This is one of the most profound lucid dreams I’ve ever had. Its significance and meaning is still unfolding within me.

As my awareness gathered into focus, I felt like a crew member from the Starship, Enterprise. Atomic-sized particles of my body were rapidly reassembling as if I had been projected here, particle by particle, through the ship’s Transporter. When my body was in the final stage of assembly, I began to recognize my surroundings. It was the high school I attended in Cumberland Center, Maine or one that very closely resembled it.

Now, fully materialized, I stood in the hallway inside the main entrance and began to search my surroundings. Using my Inner Senses, I searched the school and concluded that it was either early morning on a weekend or Summer vacation because the school was empty and sparkling clean. Without turning my head, I could see the double doors behind me that served as the main entrance to the school. I could also see the grounds outside as if I was standing in front of the door window, looking out. It seems there are no limits to the ways in which we can use our Inner Senses to create and observe reality.

Traveling Down Memory Lane

Moving to the center of the main corridor that connected the old, two story  school on my left to the new addition on my right, I turned to look down the length of the new addition and out through the windows in the double doors at the end. This new part of the school was a long, single-story structure with rooms on both sides of the hallway.

The first room on my right was the school administration office. The school library was directly across the hall. Wanting to learn everything I could about this place, I walked over to the administration office and looked in through the door window. The chest-high counter that separated the student area from the principal’s office behind it captured the dark yellow rays of the early morning sun and my attention as well. To me this “gateway” symbolizes the fear and control of authority. As I studied it, a mixture of old memories began to stir. A few were pleasant but others carried the hard edge of anger mixed with fear and anxiety. Deciding not to relive these disturbing memories now, I backed away from the administration office and turned to look inside the library window.

As my eyes roamed the tall bookshelves lining the left wall, I began to wonder about things like censorship and the structuring of authority in our lives. Before these questions fully engaged my mind, I shifted my attention to the large reading tables scattered around the room. As I observed their arrangement, I quietly drifted back to the school library of my past. It was early in my freshman year and I was having an intense physical and emotional reaction while sitting at a large reading table with six or seven other students, most of whom had been classmates of mine throughout Elementary and Jr. High school.

X was sitting next to me at the end of the table on my right. She told me something funny and ended it with laughter. Before I could laugh in return, an awful smell in her breath filled my nostrils and forced me to stifle an urge to gag. She and I both had developed severe tooth decay by high school because we had not taken care of our teeth.

In my case, I was extremely angry with my four front teeth because they had grown in so crooked. By the age of thirteen, they had developed large gum-line cavities and had to be extracted and replaced with a partial during the Summer before High school. Shocked by the smell of X’s breath because of her mouth problem, I couldn’t help but wonder if my breath smelled as bad as hers before my teeth were replaced. What a mortifying thought! The best I could do in that  moment was a weak laugh to acknowledge the humor in her story.

Betrayal? Things We Hate about Ourselves and how it can affect Us

My parent’s solution to my dental problem was for me to press a finger against the point of my most crooked tooth long enough and often enough to straighten it out. Sure! The longest I could press on it at any one time was about a minute because the point of the tooth was so sharp. Betrayal? Not only did I feel betrayed by my parents for not helping me get my teeth straightened, most of all, I felt betrayed by my teeth for growing in crooked in the first place. Every other part of my body seemed okay. Why couldn’t my teeth be okay?

How mad can you get when something doesn’t go the way you want it to? One winter day before my teeth were removed, I was walking home alone through woods and fields from a friend’s house. It was late afternoon and the temperature was still in single digits. As a result of recent warming, sleet, and a cold snap, a hard crust had formed on top of the snow. It was slippery which made it fun to slide and dangerous at the same time. There were also areas where grass poked through the crust, weakening it so much that every few steps, one foot or the other would break through the crust and sink deep into the powdery snow beneath.

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced walking under conditions like this but it wasn’t all fun and excitement. At one point, it became exhausting when, almost every step I took, broke through the crust, forcing me to pull each leg out of a deep hole. The extra exertion required so much energy, I began to breathe deeply. This, in turn, forced me to breathe through my mouth, causing a current of cold air to strike my gum-line cavities, which resulted in excruciating pain!

At one point I became so angry and frustrated, I stopped walking and intentionally started sucking in deep breaths of cold air through my mouth to punish my teeth for the pain they and I were experiencing. During this moment of insanity, I balled up my fists, leaned back, and yelled, Fuck you, you son’s of bitches. I don’t care if it hurts me as long as I know it hurts you!*

* (Insanity, insecurity, or a lack of perspective? Have you ever been so disappointed or angry with yourself, or some part of you, that you felt hatred for yourself or that part of you? In a value judgment world of right and wrong, good and bad, comparison and competition, I’m not sure feeling this way is all that uncommon. What do you think? Otherwise, why do we hide so much of ourselves from each other? Is it because we want to keep others from suffering along with us? Are we afraid it will diminish our value in their eyes? Or, is it because we’re afraid they will use it  to diminish our character for the sake of elevating their own? It is a very complex world we live in. 

How can we love ourselves if who we are or what we do is never good enough? One of the lessons I’ve learned from this and other similar experiences is that we’re doing the best we can with what we know and learning more to do better. What more can we ask of ourselves? I’ve also learned that everything happens for a reason and that it’s All Good because there’s something to learn from everything. Yikes! Confusing, isn’t it?)

Back safely  in my body outside the library, I shivered with relief and continued walking down the hallway. The next room on my right is the janitor’s utility closet with its smell of damp mops and cleaning products. It reminds me of my brother, Rudy. For a short while he drove a school bus and served as the janitor at my elementary school. I used to ride with him on his bus route and help clean the classrooms afterwards. We enjoyed each other’s company and this was one of the few ways we could spend time together since he was much older than me and married with children.

A Reminder of another Challenge in My Life

The male and female student bathrooms were just past the janitor’s closet and locked. As I stood in front of them, old bathroom memories come back to life. As if it was a regular school day, boys and girls appeared out of nowhere to enter and exit the bathrooms. At first it reminded me of my elementary school, when I helped Rudy clean the bathrooms. When I cleaned the girl’s bathroom with Rudy for the first time, I found a sexually explicit rhyme written on the metal wall of one of the bathroom stalls. Before we finished cleaning the bathroom I found other examples of sexually explicit graffiti on the bathroom walls. Surprised, I wondered who felt moved enough to share their sexually charged thoughts with others, even if it was anonymously?

Standing in front of the girl’s high school bathroom now, I thought, there must be even more graffiti written on the walls here than at elementary school. To test my theory, I had to get through the locked bathroom door first. Suddenly, a light came on in my mind and I remembered, I was dreaming! If I abandoned my present body and lay flat in the air in a less tangible one, could I jiggle my molecules fast enough to float through the door?

As soon as I considered this novel idea, there I was, lying flat on my stomach in midair, with no props! Slowly, I floated toward the girl’s bathroom door as I wondered what it was going to feel like to move through wood with my new, less tangible body. Suddenly, my direction changed and I was being pulled through the door into the boy’s bathroom. Surprised, I looked back through the door at the body I had left standing in the hallway. It was as if I had x-ray vision! Much to my disappointment, the body in the hallway looked like an empty shell, unable to think or act independently. Despite my confusion, I decided to go with the flow to see where this line of thought would take me.

After a moment, I understood why I had been drawn into the boy’s, instead of the girl’s bathroom. The boy’s bathroom contained a much larger emotional charge for me. While the girl’s bathroom stimulated me sexually, the boy’s bathroom stimulated my fear of peeing in front of other people.

My mother was instrumental in this state of affairs. Yes, I was part of it too. Twice in a row, over the course of several weeks, she caught me peeing from ten feet up in a large pine tree beside our house. I was somewhere between ten and twelve at that time. The first time I did it was because I was in the tree when I felt the urge to pee. It occurred to me that it would be fun to see how long it would take for pee to hit the ground. When your feet are ten feet off the ground it’s going to take much longer for it to make a sound when it hits the ground. For me, it was just an experiment. For my mother, it seemed to be a nightmare. Soon after my pee started hitting the ground, her head appeared in the laundry room window with a hysterical scream: Roger Peterson, stop that! No one wants to see you pee!

What We Believe

The first time this happened, I was able to laugh it off, despite the hysteria in her voice. It seemed she was more concerned about what our neighbors would think about her than me. I was standing on the back side of the tree intentionally to avoid being seen from the street.

The next time I did it, several weeks later, there she was again: Roger Peterson, stop that! No one wants to see you pee! Two times in a row? Wow, you’ve got to be kidding! The only two times I did it, and there she was. Was I making that much noise or was she psychic?

As a result of my mother’s hysterical reaction, I began to have trouble peeing in front of my brother and our friends, and it went downhill from there. Think about what this message says: “No one wants to see you pee!” If no one wants to see you pee, how can you pee unless you’re alone? The level of her emotions, I’m sure, played a prominent role in the severity of this new life-challenge. It was hard to let go of this idea and it still haunts me today if I don’t take time to remind myself that “when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go, that’s all there is to it!” This process also included other supporting ideas to make it a fun process. Whatever works! Right?

Sometimes, I wonder if this traumatic situation and others like it, are meant to be one of life’s challenges for a reason? Was it important for me to have something like this to chew on in life? Was it meant to help me understand the role ideas play in the creation of reality? I’m not sure, but what I do know, is that many parents yell at their children when they get upset. How often are kids traumatized by this kind of behavior and, how can we undo it?*

*  (As I said above, I eventually learned how to manage this particular inhibition but it wasn’t easy. As you can imagine, using the bathroom in school and the Air Force was a logistical nightmare for me but it typifies just one of the many possible challenges we all face in a competitive,  judgmental world of right and wrong, good and bad, shame on you, I win, you lose, when we all play this game.

(There are also biological and sociological differences that lead to discrimination as a result of comparison and competition. There are many possible ways to compare ourselves with each other that leave us suffering in silence because we think these deficits are too serious and humiliating to share and talk about. Until we learn to see ourselves in each other and All That Is, fear and shame will continue to be part of the human experience. What are we trying to teach ourselves? What do we want to learn? What do we know that we don’t know we know? What can we do that we don’t know we can do?)

Here’s another thought. We often think reality is everything we perceive with our biological senses. How come we don’t understand or acknowledge that everything we perceive with our biological senses is the result of what we think and feel about ourselves and All That Is? Whether we’re dreaming or wide awake, our inner and outer actions and reactions bring our thoughts and feelings to life. Yes, our thoughts and feelings matter, and so do our actions and reactions. What we think and feel about ourselves and All That Is forms our intent, which in turn, forms our reality. Change what we think and we change what we create.

Back to School

Invisible and floating in the air near the ceiling of the boy’s bathroom, I watch as real* and imagined high school bathroom experiences magically spring to life. People materialize and use the bathroom in full color, sound, and motion. Most of them leave quickly but others stick around to talk, tease, and smoke. I quietly observed several experiences as they quickly manifested themselves and then seamlessly disappeared to be replaced by others.

* “Real” in the sense that they seem to appear naturally while some seem to be driven by my own thoughts and feelings, actions and reactions.

In one scene, a teacher entered the bathroom to check for smokers and found two boys fighting. In another, a boy made fun of another boy’s habit of going into a stall to pee. It was as if a window into my own past had opened up. Was it to provide me with a new opportunity to work through old challenges? When the images threatened to spill out beyond the high school bathroom and take me with them, I put the brakes on, knowing there was something more important for me to do. Returning to the body I left standing in the hallway, I reminded myself that I could revisit my bathroom issues whenever I pleased.

The school was empty once more as I continued walking down the hall. I passed several empty classrooms and looked in through the door window of each.  Seeing nothing of particular interest in any of them, I continued on. About halfway down the hall I began to feel a growing sense of anticipation and excitement. At I approached the next classroom on my left, I felt an urge to open the door and did. As I stood in the doorway, I began to examine the classroom from left to right. To my left, there were six or seven rows of student desks with chairs attached. To my right, there was a large green chalkboard that spanned more than half of the front classroom wall. Sitting in the middle of the space, between the chalkboard and the rows of student desks, was a large teacher’s desk and chair.

There was a narrow band of windows on the exterior wall stretching from the back of the classroom to the front. As I studied the limited view of the world outside, I began to feel confined and claustrophobic like I used to feel in High School. At the same time, I began to wonder where the teacher and students were.

Suddenly, movement at the front of the classroom drew my attention. In fascination, I watched as writing began to appear on the chalkboard, followed by the slowly materializing hand and arm of a male teacher holding the chalk being used for writing. With growing concern, I began entertaining the idea that students might not be far behind. Sure enough, they began to materialize at their desks.

Somehow, I knew that my desire to explore the unfolding secrets of this classroom didn’t include a classroom full of students along with their teacher. With no further ado, I dismissed this idea, and the teacher, along with the students, began to disappear from the room before they could finish materializing.

Then something else began to draw my attention. Two-thirds of the way across the room the student desks were silently rearranging themselves. They formed a circle and materializing in the center of it was a large, glowing ball of light about seven or eight feet in diameter. For some reason, I felt a strong attraction to this mysterious object. Not entirely aware of what I was doing, I stepped out of my main body in the doorway by means of a less tangible one that allowed me to walk, bounce, and even float. Slowly, I moved across the room in front of the rows of student desks. At the same time, the glowing ball of light continued moving forward to meet me at the front of the classroom.

Silently and magically, the empty student desks continued to arrange and rearrange themselves to accommodate the globe as it moved forward. The nearer I came to it, the less it glowed, until finally, as if looking through fog, I could see bits of color and form. Halfway across the room my growing suspicion turned into certainty that what I was looking at was a miniature version of the earth. As it came to rest in front of me, there was no doubt left in my mind. It was a perfect replica of Earth in every way. Even the occasional clouds that hung over it were real, and when I put my face close to the ocean’s edge, I could see tiny waves, tinged by white caps, curling against the ocean’s beaches.

Pulling my face back, I wondered how the water on this small world could stay in place within the larger gravity field of my dream world. Suddenly, tiny pins or pylons began appearing around the globe, jutting up from the surface. One moment there were none, then there were many! How could that be?

With a closer look, I could see an almost invisible network of wires connecting each pylon. As I stood there, mesmerized by the magical appearance of this complex network of pylons and wires, colorful pulses of light began to move from one pylon to the next as if they were neurons sending messages from one neuron to the next. Picking up speed, the individual pulses of light began to flash back and forth around the globe, faster and faster. Before long this world within a world was a blur of flashing, colored lights. Awed by the seeming intelligence of this fantastic light show, I wondered if the globe was alive, if it was a sentient being.

Prompted by a new impulse, I walked around the globe to the row of windows on the outer classroom wall. The top of the windows was so low, I had to sit on the shelf beneath them, to see outside. This action seemed to be in direct response to the loss of freedom I felt as a student. Being forced to sit in class day after day, year after year, against my will created anger and frustration in me. As a student, the small view of the world outside the windows now mocked my desire to be free. I wanted to be free to be me!

Change – It All Begins With the First Jump!

The expanded view of the world I now saw, with my face pressed against the glass, still didn’t seem large enough to satisfy my deep desire to see and know more. Turning my head from side to side to get an even broader view of the world only fed my frustration. The limitations imposed by the windows, this building and even my own body were no longer tolerable. As my frustration level rose to a sharp peak, I exploded out of my body in the form of pure awareness and energy!

With a rush of power and joy I flew through the window to a point high in the air above the school. In this new state of being I could act and react without the use or concern of a physical body. I knew I was less tangible than the pseudo atoms and molecules comprising the air around me and I reveled in this newfound freedom. Seeing without eyes, feeling without skin, and hearing without ears, I flew higher and began to tumble and roll through the atmosphere with great speed, zipping from here to there without concern for pain or injury. In a moment of profound exuberance, I flew down into the earth through soil and rock as if I was flying through air. It was something I vaguely remembered doing in other dreams.

Despite my great confidence and joy, there was one moment of fear as I entered the earth’s surface. I remembered the earth’s great density and, for a moment, I worried that my nonphysical body would become dense enough to get stuck in in the soil and rock of my dream world. Before this earthbound fear could actualize itself, I replaced it with a new idea. This one reassured me that resistance would come only if I refused to accept the reality of my present state of being as pure awareness and energy. Once again my confidence soared and I relaxed into my experience. I flew through soil and rock with the greatest of ease. I wrapped myself in the knowledge that my experience is always a matter of clarity and balance, along with the idea that, we get what we concentrate on.

With great confidence I decided to test this belief by making my Energy Body dense enough to feel the texture of the soil and rocks around me. It felt great, almost like scratching an itch. With my curiosity satisfied, I returned to a state of pure consciousness  or awareness and energy. In this state, I knew there were no limits to my creative choices.

Flying Over the Town and Meeting Friends

Responding to another impulse, I flew out over the center of the town surrounding the school. It was early morning and quiet. The only movement I saw was a pretty young woman pushing a baby stroller down the town’s main street. Attracted by her energy, I invisibly settled into a position about fifteen feet above her head. Soon she was joined by another young woman pushing a stroller and the two quickly lost themselves in conversation. They talked about life, family, and friends. Feeling strangely related to both of them, I used my intuitive abilities to explore our connection. To my surprise, I found that all three of us shared a similar mental and emotional makeup, a connection that felt more like family than shared genes.*

* (Is there such a thing as the idea of “family” regarding different types of consciousness? In The “Unknown” Reality, Volume II, Session 736, Seth describes nine different families of consciousness, each one with its own set of characteristics.)

Of the two women, my connection with the first one seemed strongest. Not only did I find her physically attractive, her personality had a richness and complexity to it that intrigued me. She was bright, caring, and wanted to know everything, characteristics I admire. The other woman was more content with life as it was. She seemed less curious and somewhat self-centered in her thinking.

From my invisible point in the air, I wondered what it would be like to live within the first woman’s psyche, to be there when she makes love, plays with her child, or ponders an exciting thought. Can I occupy a small, unused portion of her psyche and pay my way by helping her out during times of crisis or need? If I observe the appropriate rules of privacy and non-involvement will she even know of my presence in her consciousness? If I help her find solutions to a problem or two, will she welcome me as an important part of her consciousness? Being bodiless and safely ensconced within this woman’s psyche sounds appealing to me. This way, I can devote full time to my thinking and writing, free of material encumbrances and responsibilities, including a material body.

As I pondered life in this woman’s psyche, I began to see myself as a gentleman boarder at her country inn. Leaving my room wearing a top hat and tails for a trip into town, I encountered my “landlady” as she busily cultivated the soil in the flower garden surrounding the inn. She observed my approach and I tipped the edge of my hat toward her in greeting. It has been some time since I have taken up residence in her psyche and she has become quite comfortable with my quiet presence. However, she often wonders if I’m the mysterious person who helped resolve several legal issues she encountered concerning her business. Her husband is working on farm equipment in the yard and casts a concerned look in my direction. Their children are also present and playing happily nearby.

In a spontaneous departure, I wondered what life would be like as a large redwood tree. Instantly, it became so. At first the quiet and solitude of living in the forest seemed delightful. It was so relaxing! Soon, however, other thoughts began to seep in, thoughts like “slow, boring” and “limiting”. Suddenly, I had an overwhelming desire to return to my body sitting on the shelf, looking out the school window.

Even the desire to live a quiet life inside the woman’s psyche had lost its appeal. The constant mental tiptoeing, the suppression of my own natural impulses, and the loss of my earthly body and family became much more than I could or wanted to bear. After considering these thoughts, I retraced my steps and flew back into my dream body sitting on the shelf inside the classroom.

On the flight back to the classroom, I wondered about my two dream bodies, the one standing in the classroom doorway and the other, sitting on the shelf next to the classroom windows. Were they still there? What were they doing while I was gone? Were they just empty vessels waiting for me to reanimate them? My questions were soon answered as I flew back through the window and reentered the body I had left sitting on the window ledge. It felt like I hadn’t been gone at all, as if no time has passed.

Inside the Globe

Retracing my steps past the front of the globe, I now saw a door open on the back side facing away from the windows. Curious, I walked over and looked inside. The interior was illuminated by soft white light, which somehow, came from inside the walls. Except for a small flat area on the floor of the globe, the interior looked like a futuristic computer control room. The side walls were filled with rows of panels with blinking, colored lights and buttons. A large, plush white leather armchair occupied the flat area on the floor and, suspended from a hook above the chair by two thick wires that reached to the floor before disappearing into the wall, was a large white, football-like helmet. Its design and position above the chair clearly suggested its purpose.

Creating New Lives

In nervous anticipation I entered the globe and sat in the chair. It was very comfortable! Using both hands to pull the helmet down over my head, I wondered what I was letting myself in for. Was it good or bad fortune? As the helmet made contact, I suddenly jumped to another world in a different body and a different life. My final thought before the helmet made contact with my head served as the central theme for this alternate reality. I was born into a primitive farming culture as a woman, I got married and had children. During this lifetime, as this woman, I constantly questioned whether or not I was worthy of such good fortune. Bored and depressed by the low level of awareness and oppression in this lifetime, I skimmed the highlights and left.

Back in the globe, after recollecting my own sense of self, I decided to conduct an experiment. I wanted to see how well I could control the process of creating different lives. Would it let me select my parents, my sex, my environment, and the major concepts I wanted to explore during the course of a different lifetime? Holding my breath, I decided to be a young, white female growing up on a mid-twentieth century farm with lots of animals, a fruit orchard, and wonderful, loving parents. To complete the picture, I made us Protestant in religion.

With no clear sense of transition, I entered this life and found myself as a young girl with a collie for a friend. She/we loved to walk around the farm and play with the dog. On warm summer nights we, as one, climbed out the window of her upstairs bedroom to sit on the roof and look up at the stars, pondering life and its meaning: Life (Being and Creation), what’s it all about?

She/we went to church and school because that’s what was expected of her even though her mind remained full of unanswered questions. When it became time for me to separate myself from her life, I decided to examine her most probable future timeline before returning to my own life here on Earth. In doing so, I saw sadness and unfulfilled dreams. As a middle aged woman, she smiled and pretended to be happy outwardly while, inwardly, she felt lost, lonely, and unfulfilled. To keep others happy, she tended to shape her life in accordance with their wishes and expectations, not her own. The questions she once asked remained unanswered and unexplored. Most of her dreams as a young woman simply died.

Disturbed by this vision of her future, I reentered her mind long enough to plant several seed thoughts to help counteract the oppressive thinking and behavior patterns of the people around her.* Returning to the computer, I felt confident that she would experience greater joy, independence of thought, and richness as an adult. She was far too bright and spirited not to.

* (Have you ever felt another soul reaching out to help you solve a difficult challenge or to even save your life when you thought you were going to die?)

With a great burst of energy, I created many male and female lives from personality fragments that are part of my own psyche. Each one was placed in a different time and setting to study the role of their own beliefs, attitudes, values and expectations in search of greater love and understanding in their lives. When I encountered a second personality that piqued my interest, like the young farm girl, I slowed down to examine this life more closely.

He was a young black man with a wife and two children. Together, they lived in a jungle village where he was highly respected for his mystical and healing abilities.  Much to my surprise, as I quietly peered into his life and mind, he became consciously aware of my presence.

He sensed my role in the creation of his being and was overjoyed. Even though I quickly retreated to the darkness of a black abyss, he could still sense my presence. Walking to the edge of the jungle as if he knew exactly where I was, he asked to come away with me. Although I was greatly moved by the depth of his spiritual understanding and sincerity, I couldn’t forget about the needs of his family and tribe. They needed him and I had places to go and things to do as well. When I reminded him of his importance to his family and tribe, he understood and started walking back to the village, knowing in his heart that it was the right thing for him to do.

What did I learn from this experience? I learned that each lifetime is an opportunity to learn how our thoughts, in the form of beliefs, attitudes, values and expectations, interact to create our reality. Each moment, each day, and each lifetime presents us with challenges to help us create better versions of who we are. It makes no difference whether our experiences are expressed in material or symbolic (dream) terms. It’s ALL good because there is something to learn from everything. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, it’s real in the moment. With this new insight, I removed the headgear and left the globe.

After backing into the body I had left standing inside the door frame, I took one step back and closed the classroom door before turning to retrace my steps back to the entrance of the school. Deciding there was no further need for  symbolism in this dream reality, I let it all fade into blackness.

Then I woke up and turned my bedside light on. It was time to begin the challenging task of recording as many of the details in this dream as I could before they faded away.

What are we? How are we? Who are we? What is reality? What is the purpose of life? Where do we begin and where do we end?

Copyright 2007, Roger A. “Pete” Peterson

What do we know that we don’t know we know?

What can we do that we don’t know we can do?

What are we trying to teach ourselves?

What do we want to learn?

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having (creating) a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

How we define ourselves and All That Is forms our intent, which in turn, forms our reality.

In other words, we create reality from what we choose to think and feel about ourselves and All That Is.

If we don’t consciously choose our beliefs, we absorb them from our surroundings.

If our beliefs, attitudes, values and expectations create reality, can we afford not to question them?

The more we love, understand and appreciate ourselves, the better we treat each other and All That Is.

Always doing the best we can with what we know and learning more to do better. Can you feel it?

Start your own Story Room with ideas from The LifeSong Store!

Surround yourself with the ideas that work best and make you happiest in your oneness with and separation from All That Is, as both a product of creation and creation itself!

{ 9 comments… add one }
  • Chanson Dinhars December 18, 2013, 9:11 AM

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha! What a load! If your story’s for real and I don’t believe it is, this is dreaming 101. Not much going on here, except your lust for power – captain of a starship? Don’t you mention this somewhere else too? And your weird tastes – who gets turned on by a fucking bathroom?

  • Pete December 19, 2013, 1:03 PM

    Hmmm, how do you talk to someone who thinks they have everything figured out already?

    I suspect many people want to ask me the same question because sometimes I talk like I have things figured out too. Maybe the purpose for you finding my website and making the comments you did is the universe’s way of making me more aware of that. So, thank you!

    Do you believe that we’re all doing the best we can with what we know and, as we learn more, we try to do better? Do you think self-improvement is built into who and what we are? I do, and if we turn this idea around, you can see it as us attempting to recover from things we don’t like about life and ourselves, things that don’t work for us or make us happy. If this is so, why don’t we do more to help ourselves and each other in our effort to recover instead of laughing at each other as if we’re all a big joke, not that any of us are forced to accept this projection.

    Regarding my flight of fancy in making myself the “Captain of a Star Ship” and getting “turned on by a fucking bathroom”, as you put it. When I became fully aware of the profound obligation we assume when we remove plants from the ground and bring them into our homes, I felt a strong sense of guilt. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how poor and insensitive I had been as a partner in my relationship with potted plants throughout my life. I always did the best I could with what I knew regarding plants but it wasn’t much. As the full impact of my failure hit home, all I could think to do was escape, and I did, in grand fashion. I used the material of the rootlet to create an amazing Star Ship, along with a beautiful captain’s uniform to go with it. I wanted to feel good about myself to balance out how bad I felt about myself. Do you think there’s something wrong or unnatural about that? I don’t. I think this is a natural course of action the mind takes to preserve our sanity. When I realized that I was in denial, I discarded the Star Ship and returned to the plant consciousness to learn more about it.

    The bathroom thing represents one of my personal recovery projects. When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I discovered how much fun it was to pee from some branches high up in a pine tree in our side yard. There I am, about 10 or 12 feet up in the tree facing away from the street, mesmerized by how long after I start peeing, it takes for my pee to hit the ground and the sound to come back to me. All of a sudden, my mother leaned out of the bathroom window and hysterically screamed up at me: “Roger Peterson, what are you doing? Nobody wants to see you pee!” My first response was to laugh at her but that didn’t completely stop the energy of her reaction from having an affect on me. The next time I peed from up in the tree, the same damn thing happened. I have no idea how my mother knew I was up in the tree peeing again unless she was intuiting my behavior or spying on me. Anyway, the emotional impact of her screaming at me a second time did its job. From that moment on, it was almost impossible for me to pee in front of any one else.

    Imagine being in school or in the military with this problem. It was a emotional and logistical nightmare to pee in public bathrooms alone. If someone came in, I’d freeze up and pretend I misjudged my situation and had to take a crap too. It was a long term nightmare that had a profound affect on my life. I’m 71 years old now and it’s taken me most of this time to overcome this debilitating inhibition. I think competition, “I win, you lose plays” plays a huge role in the formation of many human inhibitions. However, that’s a subject for another discussion.

    Hopefully, you understand a little more why the “fucking bathroom” in The Ball of Light played such an important role in this lucid dream. My long term pee inhibition contains a lot of energy and plays itself out in many of my dreams. That’s just the way energy works.

    Chanson, I’m glad you wrote what you did. Your thoughts provided me with a great opportunity to figure out what works and makes me happy. Getting angry and escaping into denial doesn’t work for me anymore. I’m much happier finding ways to opening doors to communication instead of closing them.

    I don’t know if you know who Jane Roberts is but she said something pretty cool: “Hate is looking for love.” I love this insight because it seems so true! When I was young, I was angry at the world. I was angry because so many people I knew made it so hard to love them. I also found it hard to receive love from these same people. I always suspected it was because they didn’t know how or didn’t think it was okay to love themselves. I’d be interested in your thoughts on this. Cheers!

  • Emmy van Swaaij January 26, 2014, 1:54 PM

    I want to let you know that I appreciate you sharing your dreamexperiences here a lot. I stumbled upon your website through the sethfriends facebookpage. Your dreamdescriptions make me look forward to exploring tonight. I’ve had very similar “peeking along” dreams ad I tend to call them and it is such a thrill to see them described by another person who also shares a similar perspective both being fond of Jane Robers excellent material. Looking forward to explore your writings the upcoming days. A great find that made my day, thank you.

  • Col August 9, 2020, 8:02 AM

    I find your post about ‘Creating New Lives’ fascinating and makes me curious.
    In creating those lives, did agreements with other souls have to made? and how easy was it to forge those agreements?
    What about the realities in which those lives took place? Were they in our timeline or were you creating new realities from scratch? Were you creating a life by entering the woman’s psyche or was that just fantasy?
    I’m always thinking about some of the people I come across and wonder what it would be like to be their family, it seems like it can happen quite easily with just a desire.

  • Pete August 9, 2020, 9:31 AM

    Hi Col, “In creating those lives, did agreements with other souls have to (be) made?” An interesting question, Col. There were no formal agreements but it did seem like there were unconscious ones. It seems like everyone involved willingly participated, each for their own reasons, including me.

    This particular lucid dream seems as though it was meant to show me a much larger aspect of the consciousness I’m a part of. It’s not an experience I could have created limited by the rules of waking reality. Even though, my consciousness seemed to flow easily from one thought to another, I did need the support of a futuristic computer to make it possible for me to experience being an oversoul capable of giving flight to personality fragments from my own consciousness or field of awareness. That dream provided me with a great sense of oneness and separation, of being a product of creation and creation itself.

    “How easy was it to forge those agreements?” They were spontaneous. Everyone involved seemed excited to participate in our experience/experiment.

    “What about the realities in which those lives took place? Were they in our timeline or were you creating new realities from scratch?” I don’t know if they were in our timeline. What I do know is that I drew on a large collection of symbols that seemed appropriate and fun under the circumstances. In the case of the young girl, I was in and out of her mind. I was both her inner voice and outer, imagined friend who loved to sit beside her as we both looked up at the stars from the roof outside her bedroom window. The person with the most aware or agile consciousness was the the medicine man in the jungle. His level of awareness seemed as broad as mine.

    “Were you creating a life by entering the woman’s psyche or was that just fantasy?” I would say it was both. Sometimes, I would play by the rules of linear and spacial creation with its demanding, one step after the other for continuity and, at other times, I would skip about at will. It all depended on how I felt in the moment.

    “I’m always thinking about some of the people I come across and wonder what it would be like to be their family, it seems like it can happen quite easily with just a desire.” Are you talking about outer reality or inner reality, the inner self or the outer self? They all have their own rules to maintain their nature.

    Thanks for your questions, Col, it was fun to go back to that amazing experience and look at it in greater detail. Cheers!

  • Col August 9, 2020, 10:12 AM

    Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.

    “Are you talking about outer reality or inner reality, the inner self or the outer self? They all have their own rules to maintain their nature.”
    I was talking mostly about people who I have come across in waking life that I feel a connection with. I heard that we are drawn to every person we meet through “inner connections”. Perhaps in some cases it is just attraction, but I also have a desire to get to know them and think we can mutually benefit each other by becoming family sort of like the woman with the stroller you mentioned. It seems like it is quite easy to make these connections.

  • Pete August 11, 2020, 3:13 PM

    “It seems like it is quite easy to make these connections.” – Col

    I agree, Col, it is easy. However, perspective plays a large role here. It is easy for me because I truly believe, and have demonstrated to my own satisfaction, that consciousness or aware energy is the source and substance of All That Is, which makes us both one with and separate from All That Is. It also makes us both products of creation and creation itself. In my reality All That Is thinks, feels, acts and reacts; therefore we ARE. As we think, feel, act and react, we create. To change what we create, we change what we think and feel, how we act and react. My deepest thoughts and feelings are expressed on this website and there is space for anyone else to express their thoughts and feelings as well.

    Beyond that there is our imagination and ability to communicate telepathically. In My Encounter with the Energy of Unconditional Love, I telepathically started a conversation with the higher self of the bus driver following me who was a good friend of mine. After imaginatively exchanging questions with each other, the conversation became real. When I reached out to her higher self the next time, I struck a powerful wall of energy that turned out to be Unconditional Love. For another example of inner communication, read Inside Ivy. During this experience my consciousness, or most of it, left my body and entered the plant for an amazing experience. There is so much to discover about ourselves, it is unbelievable. In my world, we are all connected and able to communicate with each other freely. According to Unconditional Love, “nothing you can ever think, feel, say of do can keep you from being loved unconditionally.” I believe it.


  • Trisha June 27, 2021, 6:31 AM

    Randomly found this post but am glad I did. What level of reality do you think those lucid dream lives were on? Could they still exist somewhere, possibly in a higher dimension? What is it like merging with a lucid dream character? I sounds like you were both her and dwelling within her fantasy at the same time.

  • Pete June 28, 2021, 12:22 PM

    Hi Trisha, Good questions! From my perspective as a human being, everything in my dream was both symbolic and substantive. It seems like part of me wanted to explore my greater abilities as a multidimensional, vibrational being of aware energy, or consciousness. As I mentioned in the dream, it seemed like it was meant for me to have this experience so I willingly decided to go along with the plan. I didn’t know where it would take me but, it seemed important.

    As far as “dimensions” or “levels or reality” are concerned, I can only guess at what they mean. Is one dimension of reality more or less important than any other? I don’t know; to me, they just seem unique and different and we can move from one to another with a thought. In this experience and many others, all I had to do was think about something different and there I was, in another dimension of possibility and probability. Recently, I developed two new designs for The LifeSong Store. One says: Self Learning wrapped around the Earth with the universe in the background and the other says: Intelligent Design with the same background. How else can the magic of what we are express and maintain itself with such precision. Together, these two ideas suggest that All That Is thinks, feels, acts and reacts; therefore, we ARE. As we think, feel, act and react, we create. To change what we create, we change what we think and feel, how we act and react. As also mentioned in The Ball of Light, the woman whose consciousness I entered seemed to be a friend, someone I strongly identified with.

    Inside Ivy is a waking reality experience born out of our love for each other. While fully awake, my consciousness left my body and entered a rootlet inside the plant pot on the shelf above the stairwell, under a skylight in San Francisco. It was an amazing experience! If you have some time, check it out!

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