By author and channel, Jodie Helm
I’ve heard so many people compare themselves to others only to find themselves lacking. This is very sad to me. We are all different, and we all have to find our own path. We can’t find it by trying to be someone else. I asked the Archangels for some guidance on this, and their message follows.
Question: What can you teach us about self-judgment that will help us feel better about who and where we are in life?
People on Earth are conditioned to judge. It is a learned, societal behavior that you should try to unlearn. Those who are further along in their spiritual journey often endeavor to improve judgmental thoughts toward others, yet many neglect to stop judging themselves. This is not good for two reasons; first, judging yourself harshly impedes your spirituality and serves no good purpose, and judging yourself often endorses the act and leads others to follow this path. Judgment, much like guilt, serves no positive purpose.
You live in a very judgmental world. Systems in place encourage judgment and set up ridiculous standards that are impossible to meet and sustain. You need not look further than advertisements and entertainment venues to see examples of this.
There is also a pervasive idea that you are in competition with others, which leads you to constantly compare yourself to others. Again, this is not only unproductive, but it can affect your spiritual progress. You should not compare yourself to anyone but yourself. Evaluate and reevaluate where you have been and what progress you have made. Ask yourself if you are satisfied with the growth or non-growth you have had and whether or not you wish to make any changes, or if you are pleased with where you are currently.
It is one thing to admire others and wish to use them as an example for where you wish to be or a direction you wish to pursue at some point. It is fine to appreciate role models and aspire to reach for where they are in their lives. However, it’s an entirely different thing to compare yourself to them and find yourself to be either superior or less than them.
For example, if you admire someone who remains calm during stressful times as well as having a calming effect on others, and you wish to find a way to remain calmer yourself, there is nothing wrong with that. You might ask yourself what steps you can take toward that goal and develop a plan of action. However, problems arise when you wish you were as good as that person or believe it’s impossible for you to ever be as good as them. Similarly, it can be positive to speak to or observe someone to get ideas about ways you might become more calm, but it’s important to remember that you are on your own journey, not theirs, and you must find your own way.
If you get good ideas from someone you wish to try in order to reach your goals that is fine, but if another’s path or methods do not work for you in the same way, that is also fine. Do not think yourself less, only uniquely different. If you are having difficulty meeting your goals or finding your way, do not be frustrated or consider yourself as lacking. Be kind to yourself and try another way when you are ready, remembering that you are on your own journey, and it is not to be in competition with others. Everyone is different, and that is a beautiful thing about the human experience.
When it comes to spirituality, and really most things, it is important to know yourself, value yourself, and not compare yourself with others. Set your sights on where you want to be, not who you want to be, for you will only and always be yourself, and you are a divine being of light with unique gifts and talents. You are not meant to be anyone else.
The only comparison you should ever consider is where you are now and where you were before and whether or not you have made positive progress. If not, perhaps it is time to reevaluate your goals and/or the plan you have to reach them, as well as the actions you have taken. Identify and use your God-given gifts and be grateful for them. They were chosen especially for you and you should not wish to exchange them for someone else’s, because gifts are specifically chosen so that you may learn the lessons you need during this lifetime. One gift is not better or more important than another, but yours are best suited for you.
So, how can you stop judging yourself and comparing yourself to others? Begin by taking an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses. Next, evaluate how you are currently using your gifts/strengths. Are your talents working for you? Could you use them more? This is important, because your life purpose is usually connected to your gifts. The length of your inventory is important only in so far as how well you know yourself. If you have a hard time thinking of either strengths or weaknesses, there’s an excellent chance you need to learn more about yourself, and only you can take steps to do that, although your guides and Angels will help you should you ask.
Now, consider your weaknesses. Which areas are most important to address, and why are they important? You should be focused on improving yourself and your life, not on trying to be more like someone else. If you admire qualities someone you know possesses, then add those to the list of weaknesses and ask yourself how you can be more joyful, more at peace, more patient, or whatever quality you admire. This process is about what’s important to you, not what society or others tell you is important.
The next step is to make a plan of action with points of reevaluation to decide if you are making progress and if this goal is still valued. Do you need to adjust your plan of action? Are you congratulating yourself for pursuing higher interests and improving yourself?
We often observe people getting frustrated with themselves when they should be kind to themselves instead. For example, one’s goal might be to stop to think, rather than to react emotionally without thinking. This is a worthy goal, and you recognize its importance and are working toward it. Then, someone cuts you off in traffic and without thinking, you honk the horn and scream obscenities at them. Then, you realize what you did and feel that you have failed or regressed when, instead, you should focus on the fact that you realized that your reaction is not what you want or in accordance with your goal and plan.
The very fact that you recognize this goal as worthy and are pursuing it should reassure you that you are growing spiritually. Instead of focusing on forgetting to think before reacting, you should feel good that you recognized the slip and plan to continue to try to improve. This is great progress! Think back to a time when you would hold onto the anger without realizing it was an emotional reaction that doesn’t serve you well. Now, when you react, you realize and remember it is not what you want.
Be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself, and have compassion for yourself. You did not ask for the societal or collective programming you received as you grew up. You adjusted your natural thoughts and behaviors, because you felt the pressure to do so. Now, it is time to reevaluate your life and decide what is working well for you and what is adding to your stress and unhappiness. This takes courage and commitment, and it is not always comfortable, but it will bring more balance into your life.
So, ask yourself if you are joyful and at peace. Take a self-inventory and identify areas you’d like to improve. Remember that there is no deadline to be met other than the one you decide upon. Remind yourself that you are not in competition with anyone else, that your journey is highly personalized, and it is not tied to another’s in terms of where your path leads you or how you get there. You are not behind, and you have not failed at anything if you are in a different place than someone else. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Rejoice in yourself, your path, and your progress and don’t concern yourself with someone else’s progress. Celebrate being you and finding your way forward.
Love and Light to you all.
I remember when I first started channeling, I was older and thought maybe I’d gotten a later start than I was supposed to, that I’d missed some signs along the way. The Archangels assured me that was not the case, that I was exactly where I was always supposed to be according to my life plan.
Most of the channelers that I know channel verbally, but I don’t. I ask/write down questions, then I hear the answer and write it down. At first, I thought I was doing something wrong or that I wasn’t as good at channeling as others. Eventually, I realized I was doing everything right, because I was doing what was right for me, using my gift of clairaudience to hear the information needed to share with and hopefully help others. It works for me.
I also wondered why I never saw the Angels, other than occasional, colored flashes of light. They explained that, while I could develop clairvoyance and learn to use it, my strength will always be clairaudience. That’s okay with me, because not seeing them has in no way hindered our connection to each other — I feel their love strongly — or made it difficult to receive their messages. I’m very grateful for my gift.
I think about all the pressures we’ve learned to buy into, like climbing that ladder of success, making more money, buying a nice car or house, not wanting to get old, what beauty looks like, etc., and I realize the insignificance of it all. What exactly is success? The answer is, it depends on the person. I chose a career in education in my youth, and everyone knows that road doesn’t lead to huge amounts of money. But for me, despite the fact that more money would be nice and allow me to do more things, it was a great choice, because I feel like I made a positive difference in a lot of lives. That, to me, is success.
I didn’t always love my life, but it’s great to be at this juncture where I’m happy and at peace. I’m not particularly interested in what others think of me, and I don’t think I’m any better or less than anyone else. I don’t measure myself against others or society’s ideals. I’m just me, and I like me. I hope all of you feel that way, too. If not, follow the Archangels’ advice and get to know yourself better, and figure out who you are now and what changes, if any, you want to make to be the best you that you can be. Your potential is limitless.
Blessings to all, Jodie.
Copyright © 2022, Jodie Helm. Republished with Jodie’s permission. You can also read her articles on Medium.com with a paid subscription.